Tips for raising twins
Parents of twins feel even more responsibility for raising their children than any other parents. No wonder, since both children are at the same stage of development, need equal care and seek the same amount of parental attention and love. How to cope with twins the way that both children grow up happy and parents don't go mad?
What happy twin parents need to understand first is that they would feel constant lack of hours in the day. You should get used to this fact in advance so that the new reality doesn’t shock you and distract from the children. However, simply getting used to it is not enough, you'll need some functional preparation as well. Still before the births of babies define a small circle of people you trust who could occasionally help you. Hardly anyone easily agrees to see two newborns at once, but any assistance will do much good: cooking a soup, sort the laundry or run for diapers. You should consider the possibility to hire specially trained pros. Fortunately, among the many proposals of assistance with chores you can pick up what suits you one hundred percent, and for many families this option is the most convenient and acceptable.
With the kids growing and you gradually acclimating, you may notice differences between them – even if you have identical twins. One of them is more active, the other is more observant, one loves to bathe in a bath, the other prefers shower, one eats up quickly, while the other is a slow eater. Of course, it's important for the mom to be fit and alert to care for the babies, so it's worth setting the same schedule for them. However, the schedule should by no means go against the nature of one of the kids. This is a point to keep in mind as one of the twins usually dominates and the other obeys. Although this cannot be changed, but these traits could and should be adjusted. For example, ask the children to change roles in games, so everyone is able to practice behavior of both leader and performer.
Due to obvious circumstances parents get used to take care of twins using one pattern, buying similar babywear, sending them to the same class – and generally treat them almost as one person. However, a very important aspect of bringing up twins is to understand that they are different people. Yes, they really are very alike and very attached to each other. Even as babies, twins sometimes start to worry when their brother or sister is taken somewhere away. After all, they bonded with each other no less than with their mommy, while still in the womb, they not only heard the mother's heart, but the hearts of each other, cuddling for long nine months. However, during delivery each of them started their own experience different from the other. It's critical for the parents to see the personality of each child as soon as possible.
There are several steps to be taken. Do not split the babies, but do find an opportunity to spend some time one to one with each of them. Give everyone their own space: as with any child, each of the twins should have something personal – toys, crib or a cup. However, they can freely share some things – e.g. a big construction set or a children's railway. But there are things that, in the opinion of the child, fundamentally belong only to him – what is more, for one kid these can be his favorite cars, and the other one shares his cars with no issues, while his own pajamas shall be inviolable. You should not only observe but also appreciate and respect these features in child's nature.
With this approach children's competing will be less apparent. Yes, twins also worry that they fail to get parental attention, although it is much less manifested than in children who grew up an only kid, when suddenly a younger brother or sister came into the world. For each of the twins it's extremely important when parents notice his preferences, look into his experiences, try to please his tastes – in short, see him as a personality. The process of identity formation and socialization passes smoothly in such kids, and even as adults they feel more confident and self-sufficient.